nervous

i have  a job interview in a few hours.

i couldn’t sleep last night.

i’m nervous.

my eyes are burning and i’m definitely tired, but sleep won’ t come. my brain is racing. the sleep i have gotten has been unfulfilling and ugly. i said some things last night i shouldn’t have said (as usual) and i feel sorry for having said them but i felt them, and they had to come out. and i guess now i’m paying for it.

i can hear muad’dib the bunny running around upstairs. i let him out for the morning. when i went to feed him an hour ago he was not interested in his breakfast; he wanted to explore. (anyone who has a bunny will know how strange that is … food > exploring in most bunny minds.)

i feel as restless as he does. maybe i should go run laps around the bedroom upstairs. maybe i could sleep for another few hours before i go to this interview. i have no idea what to wear. i’m going to wear something different than what i wore to the last two (failures). for the sake of luck.

i feel something weird about maine right now, too… voters there recently rejected a law that would legalize gay marriage by a 53% majority. it’s a majority, but it’s slim. i’m feeling resounding notes of “tyranny by the majority”, and i’m disappointed. i’m not shocked, though. clearly americans are conflicted on the gay marriage issue, and they have their reasons. i’m on the side of “marriage is a religious choice; civil unions should be the only legally recognized form of coupling”. nobody seems to be writing or voting on that law, tho.

i put the bunny back in his room to try and force him to finish his breakfast. maybe i’ll try to lie down again, too.

here’s to feeling better after a nap.