Posts Tagged ‘self improvement


new year’s resolutions

Reader B.A. asks:

What are your resolutions for the new year?

Dear B.A.:

making the resolutions

Image: nuttakit /

I generally abhor the seemingly arbitrary process of making new year’s resolutions, mostly because I think they’re a great way to set yourself up to fail.

Of course, the new year is a fine time to try and change specific things about your life, even if it’s just for a month. I do enjoy any chance to attempt to make myself a better person, arbitrary or not. Add a chance to write that down somewhere and okay, fine, I’ll make a few.

So here, for your enjoyment, are my New Year’s Resolutions:

Stand up for myself.

I’m not saying I’ve had people attack me or anything; I mean this as something that goes on inside my head. This is a concerted effort to know what I’m worth, what my ideas are worth, and believe it. It also means that I’ll stand up for myself even if someone hasn’t put me down. This means asking for things when I need them, or even just when I want them. It means not apologizing for doing the things I feel I need to do, even if it’s not what nice girls do. It may make me feel conniving or cut-throat, but that’s only until I get used to it. (Guys live like this all the time!)

Find my self-worth in myself rather than others.

This is a hard one to quantify, but as a girl, I’ve found it’s very easy to gauge my self-worth based entirely on how (I think) others perceive me. There are several places this happens: job performance at work, friendships, family, or even just how members of the opposite sex respond to me in public. Being attractive and nice are all fine things, but being happy with yourself is a much deeper enterprise. It’s a hard trap not to fall into, but I just have to learn not to care if anyone else thinks I’m pretty, nice, or funny. Part of it for me is simply looking at the things I feel good about having done, whether they involve other people or not. If I keep a list in my journal, say, I can look back on it when I’m not feeling so great about myself and remember the feeling.

Enjoy the feeling of being hungry.

I don’t mean this is an anorexic, “I’m not eating anymore” kind of way. This is part of a general life-long goal of slowing down and paying attention to my body. We live in the kind of world where food is readily available to us at all times, and going hungry is something we forget how to do. So I’m going to recognize hunger when it strikes me, and allow it to be just a feeling that I can enjoy. (Don’t worry, I’ll still feed myself, too.)

Make mix CDs for my friends.

I used to do this a lot. Seeing as it took me three years to update my iPod, the process has been on hiatus lately. But I’m planning to start it up again. So watch out.

Eat more veggies.

Notice I didn’t say “lose weight” or “be healthier”. I’m simply adding more fruit and veggies to my diet. A couple carrot sticks here, an avocado on my turkey sandwich at lunch… Easy peasy. I may even rejoin the CSA I was part of last year (Los Poblanos Organics), as they’ll deliver a box full of veggies every other week right to my front door. Then I have no excuses — it’s already in the fridge!

I think that’s all I’ve got. Not very deep or particularly interesting, but there you go.

What are yours?

Happy New Year’s dear readers! 🙂

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