bigger girls than boys

Reader G. P. writes:

I find myself working out a lot lately. While it’s great to be in good shape, I am afraid that I am getting stronger than my male counterparts. Do you think men can cope with it, or do you think they prefer softer, more lady-like bodies?

Dear G.P.:

Good on you for being healthy and working out. Bad on you for having guys in your life who are threatened by that, if those boys do indeed exist in your life. If you’re dating one, dump him immediately. And if it’s a real issue with the guy that you’re strong and healthy, then you don’t need to be friends with him, either.

Basically, girls are leveling the playing field with boys in lots of areas — education, work, and even sports. Most guys are pretty used to it. And if they’re not, they’re clearly not the right guys for you.


Well, you're not going to intimidate anyone with two-pound weights. Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I took one of my Highly Unscientific Surveys to get some guy feedback on this. The basic response was that girls who are fit are awesome, sexy, and altogether attractive (at least physically). The guys who didn’t think fit girls were hot are the guys who aren’t particularly fit themselves. (Again, not the right type for you, so nothing to worry about.)

Most of the guys I talked to said that they would be less attracted to a girl who was stronger than them, but mostly because the girl would have to be huge in the first place. It’s not about competition — it’s just that most of these guys are attracted to smaller girls anyway. If you were merely stronger in proportion, i.e. for your weight and height you’re stronger than he is for his weight and height, it’d be another story.

What it came down to in my survey was that it’s the mindset that counts. If the girl is way, way more into working out than the guy, he’d lose interest. Probably the same way he’d lose interest if she was totally focused on doing anything he’s not really interested in — including video games, or TV shows, or poker, or whatever else. You have to have interests in common for a relationship to work out.

One friend said that it gets into his head when he has to keep up with his girlfriend at certain sports. “It doesn’t make her less attractive,” he said; “it just deals a blow to my pride.” But, he added, “I kind of like it. It’s new to me.”

Another said, “I find it hot when girls are better at sports than me.” Plus, he added, that if a girl was stronger or better than him at sports, it would push him to improve.

And that push towards improvement is what makes relationships worth having in the first place, anyway.

Finally, another friend said, “I don’t like girls who are super in shape. It means they don’t drink and smoke and hang out.”

Bottom line: if you’re a heavy duty body builder, then you may have a bit of trouble finding a guy in the general population who’s totally into your physique. (Or not — I’m sure there’s at least a fetish about it; and/or guys who are so secure in their masculinity they don’t mind a girl who’s built like that.) But being strong and fit is not going to hamper your ability to score a man. In fact, it’ll make it easier. Guys who like soft girls aren’t your type, so don’t worry about ’em.


1 Response to “bigger girls than boys”

  1. 1 Josh
    March 14, 2011 at 11:40 am

    I’ve heard a lot of women express concerns that they will get all huge and buffed up if they lift weights and work out too much. Not gonna happen, usually. Women don’t have the steroid hormones (and receptors) to develop Schwarzeneggerian muscles (many men – including me – don’t either; that’s why artificial steroids and other supplements are so popular for weightlifters and pro athletes). In my experience, women who lift weights regularly actually become thinner and more attractive. And, although they might see some increases in strength in the weight room, it’s not like increasing their bench press from 65 to 85 pounds has changed them into Hercules; it’s just made them more confident, more fit, and altogether sexier!

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