fantasy date

Reader K.B. writes:

I have met a girl that I don’t know really well, but I know we’re both mutually interested in each other romantically. I want to take her out, but I’m out of ideas. From a female perspective, what would be a great date?

Dear K.B.:


You asked for it.

the perfect date

This could be you. Image: Francesco Marino / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ve first got to toss out the disclaimer that ALL GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT. I mean, we’re basically the same, but for the most part, we like to at least think we’re individual and unique snowflakes and you wouldn’t take us on the same date you’d take some other girl. Therefore, I will give you guidelines rather than actual hard and fast rules you should follow. Wing it a little. Creativity and confidence make us quite happy.

I’d say a great date would involve any combination of the following:

– Good alcohol

– Good food

– Humor*

– The ability to talk*

– The chance to feel pretty*

– An opportunity to wander around looking at things

– The chance to feel smart

You see, these are very basic guidelines. What constitutes a great date depends entirely on the girl, what your interests are, what her interests are, and what part of the world you live in. But you can be sure that if the chemistry is right and you can find some place with really flattering lighting, the date will go best if you can talk to each other and participate in something fun that will also give your lady date an opportunity to show off somehow.

For this reason, I never ever recommend going to a movie until you’re pretty well settled as a couple. Not only do movies not give you the opportunity to talk, but they also mean you’re spending the whole time looking at someone other than your date. Who wants that?

And while I personally would love to go on a date to the opera, the same troubles with movies arise with plays and musical theatre, too. Show off your burning desire to see La Bohème? Or actually have a chance to talk to her? It’s a fine line to walk, amigo.

I would definitely suggest you avoid doing any activity that you are not totally sure she enjoys. Unless she’s really a fan of football, don’t suggest you go watch football at a bar. Especially since your attention is going to be on the game and not each other. Use your noggin.

But I’m sure you want some actual suggestions. So now we get to dive right back into the world of Kat’s fantasies and go through a list of great ideal dates**:

Fancy Dinner

Pros: Excuse to get mad dolled up (everyone looks better mad dolled up); opportunity to show off knowledge of wine list (if either of you has any); great opportunity to talk; bonus points for old school romance feeling.

Cons: The ever-awkward check-splitting-or-not moment; sometimes the fancy can put a strain on things.

Museum Trip or Trip to the Zoo

Pros: Great chance to chat while you walk around; possible cute moment of holding hands while walking; great opportunity for one or both parties to show hidden knowledge of art/history/animals; zoo = cute automatically; great opportunity to show you’re paying attention to her if there’s a special exhibit concerning one of her favorite artists/time periods/animals.

Cons: Crowds; loud noises; museum legs; possibility of no alcohol.

Concert or Music Fest

Pros: Fun!; music is good; if you like the same band it’s a great opportunity to bond over it; there will probably be booze available.

Cons: Not a great place to talk (although talking afterwards is probably going to happen).

Hike or Run or Walk or Bike Ride

Pros: Nature makes people happy; exercise makes people happy and increases endorphins; great opportunity to talk; great opportunity to show off athletic prowess.

Cons: No booze; great opportunity to show off lack of athletic prowess; not necessarily a good idea in the middle of winter.

Shopping for Shoes or Lingerie

Pros: She will be completely taken by surprise that you want to go shoe or lingerie shopping; it is highly doubtful any other man has ever offered to take her shoe/lingerie shopping in the history of her life;  it’s a great opportunity to talk and get to know her (especially her taste in shoes/lingerie); it’s a great opportunity to throw sex into the mix (sexy shoes! sexy lingerie!).

Cons: No booze; possibility that you will get put immediately onto the friends ladder because that’s who she shoe/lingerie shops with; do you REALLY want to go shoe/lingerie shopping?

* Indicates extra important aspects of a date
**These are ideal for Kat only. Not to be used on other girls. Kat is a beautiful and unique snowflake.

1 Response to “fantasy date”

  1. October 22, 2010 at 7:02 am

    You are incorrect about no booze on hikes. The littlest Sigg bottles are MADE for carrying some Crown Royal out on the trail with you. 🙂 Even in winter!

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