the nature of friendship and family

i’ve been thinking lately a lot about the nature of friendship and of family. specifically i’ve been wondering: why do we put up with people who annoy us or make us angry or we feel don’t understand us?

i have several friends whose parents are just straight up not good at the job, and these friends complain to me regularly about it. what is it about family that makes us really unable to just let go of them? is it guilt? is it our blood ties?

and the same goes for friends. we all know someone who annoys the piss out of us, and yet we hang onto “friendship” with them, for whatever reason. what is friendship, anyway? is it “being there”? is it a contest to see who has the most contacts on facebook? is it training ground for mating? is it a stockpile of people who will maybe return favors some day, or try to find us jobs?

it’s just strange how much we keep in our own heads as human beings. we don’t tell people how we feel. why is that?


1 Response to “the nature of friendship and family”

  1. September 10, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    i suppose everyone defines friendship differently, but to me it transcends time, geography, or favors. To me, a true friend enriches your life in a way that you’re not quite able to on your own, at different times reinforcing or challenging your points of view. My best friends rarely have any real answers for me, but they help me ask the right questions….or something like that.

    As for family, that’s even more specific to the individual…most people’s parents try their best (or should) and should be given credit for that at least. I dunno. What the hell do I really know? I’m just a guy from Jersey 🙂

    With all that said, I’ve found that it’s worthwhile every so often to do a certain amount of “social cleansing”…not necessarily eliminating people from your life altogether, but doing a kind of “cost-benefit analysis” in your personal relationships and appropriating your time and attention accordingly.

    did anything I said make sense?

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